Frequently Asked Rhetorical Questions


ONE: Regular rates are $19.99/month. How amazing is that?

TWO: Minimum contract is one year with one-year extensions. Who has time to keep changing web hosts anyway?

THREE: Where else can you get maintenance at only $15/month?

FOUR: It gets rolled into the bi-annual checkups if untouched. How about that?

FIVE: FREE HOSTING FOR A YEAR when you buy anything off the new rate card? You can’t be serious? Wait, you are?

SIX: There’s an Extreme Response Retainer.  It’s one hour, for emergencies only. If things go awry, you jump the queue and waive any rush fees as well. Well isn’t that special?

SEVEN: You’re saying you can give me a one-hour tutorial on how to run my WordPress backend? You’re saying it’s free with a new website, and only $140 if not?

EIGHT: Why in the world do you require immediate maintenance (0.5 hr) for returning clients? Sure my site has been out of your care for a little while, so why would you need to look inside at your first opportunity to make sure everything is safe and running smoothly?

NINE: Maintenance! Uh. What is it good for? A well-oiled website will save you time and money in the long run. Say we did two updates a year (one at each Daylight Saving) with a $15/month retainer, or one checkup a year, on the Daylight Saving of your choice, for $10/month? Not bad, huh? You can opt out of maintenance when the the one-year trial period ends. But why would you want to do that? If you’re returning we only need an hour. How do you like them apples?

TEN: Either way, who said that price is the only consideration here? There are a few types of hosting: you might want to double check you’re not currently in the bad ones. (What we offer is the Gated Community Garage.) Here, take a look. What do you think?

ELEVEN: More questions to come later? Who knows?